Deep down…
January 17, 2012 § 6 Comments
I find myself “chatting” with a someone I “met” through a dear sister-in-law a few months ago. Gotta love that 5 am coffee break!
This individual often shares the perspective that all religions are pretty much the same with minor differences. Ok, I’ll accept that premise. So why, then, am I petrified of learning more about Islam?
Because deep down, what if I end up wanting to convert?
There. I said it. I am afraid of wanting to convert. Not because being Muslim would be a bad thing or because I don’t want to have to explore wearing hijab (not all Muslim women do), or even because I don’t think I would find a welcoming community. I’m afraid because it would destabilize my little family.
Now before anybody thinks this is a window to say Islam doesn’t support families the destabilization would simply be because I would then be following a different religion than my immediate family. Logical, which isn’t normally the case so early in the morning.
So why is religion so important? Why would my being a different religion than my husband or children be destabilizing? That to me gets at an interesting aspect of religion and the human psyche: specifically, why do we need it at all?
If the three major religions are so similar yet different religions in one nuclear family have the potential of disrupting that essential human construct, why has the human race kept religion around for so long?
Discuss.
Two thoughts:
First, I had the same “fear” or thoughts back when I was taking a course on Islam in England. The teacher was an Iranian, non-practicing Muslim who (at first) made Islam sound really promising. The teacher even explained how a reading of the Koran could make the hijab optional. At the time I was a believing Christian. But, as I learned more and more facts about the religion, I found it suffered from the same problems as Christianity too: it isn’t a fully modern religion. It has issues that I can’t get comfortable with (2 women = 1 man in court? inheritance rules, etc). It was more modern than Christianity, but still not fully updated. Thus: all the religions may be pretty similar to each other, but they all suffer from discrimination problems too. And if you’re going to pick and choose which parts of a religion to follow, does it really matter which label you go with?
Second, I think religion is important to a lot of people to give guidance about how to live and to give meaning. I don’t think you *need* religion for those things, though. If you are not a strict-practicing religious person, I don’t think conversion (or not believing at all) needs to be so scary.
Good luck with your journey!
I think Rosy makes a good point. Whether we are JIF or Peter Pan, at the end of the day, we’re all peanut butter, just with a few variations
God/Allah (SWT) knows what is in your heart and your intent, and that is what counts.
Am definitely a believer that all three religions are at essence the same. It’s the little differences that get you though. For instance, the many ways in which culture has mixed with, or over taken, the basic religion – Hello Sunni’s, Catholicism, Shiite’s, Hasidim! – that has become so deeply entrenched it is now part and parcel of their beliefs.
‘Love is the fulfillment of the law’ – Works for all three!
What Rosy, Beena and Dana said is what I would comment on as well. The problem is that there are so darn many people that think it does matter! I say that God knows what’s in your heart, no matter how you practice what you believe.
I’m not sure about your situation since you’d be a convert and not born into the religion (although technically you were), but Muslim women, according to most interpretations, are not allowed to marry outside their faith. Men, OTOH, can marry people of the book (Jews and Christians.) Many Muslims probably wouldn’t have a problem with your situation since you came to the faith as an adult, but those who don’t know your story might believe you married a Jewish man and they will think you are living in adultery because they don’t recognize your marriage as valid before Allah.
I read a book about an Iranian Muslim who married a Jewish man and she mentioned this problem once the fundamentalist Iranian regime came to power and questioned her about her marriage. She knew they could have her put to death for this ‘adultery.’ Hopefully questioning the validity of your marriage wouldn’t happen in the US, but I thought I’d mention it just in case.
Muslims believe God guides you to His path so if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen regardless of your fear of converting.
I am also really exitced about being able to learn about a new religion. However, I do not know much about Hinduism and so have no previous knowledge. I look forward to being able to connect this new information with all the other information that we have learned.